


UwU Bitch

by CrossTheBoss



Series: Chihiro fanfic cause they deserve it [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Asexual Character, Chihiro and Mukuro are power couple but also bestfriends goals, Crack Treated Seriously, Dork Naegi Makoto, Fujisaki Chihiro Swears, Fukawa Toko Isn't Obsessed With Togami Byakuya, Gen, Good Sibling Enoshima Junko, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru are Separate People, Horny Teenagers, If you don't get it Mukuro is asexual, Kirigiri Kyoko is so Done, M/M, Male Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Mukuro Is that bitch, Nice Enoshima Junko, Non-Despair Enoshima Junko, Past Enoshima Junko/Tsumiki Mikan, Sassy Fujisaki Chihiro, Social Media, Texting, The Author Is A Simp, Togami Byakuya is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrossTheBoss/pseuds/CrossTheBoss
Summary: Fake Computer Loli: fuck mondo just asked me to watch him and kiyotaka train help my disaster ass Robo-jesusBlonde Bimbo: Go get your mans and fuck them!Shuichi Simp: shut ur fuck u dumb bitchRobosexual: Chihiro, please go and interact with themShuichi Simp: where is dad when you need him mom?Gamer Queen: Kamukura told him to get on his knees and he got a nosebleed so Hajime had to bring him to the infirmaryOnly One Top: Chihiro I'll go with youFake Computer Loli: Thank you beautiful Goddess
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Fujisaki Chihiro & Ikusaba Mukuro, Fujisaki Chihiro/Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Chihiro fanfic cause they deserve it [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843756
Comments: 3
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely self indulgent and a fucking disaster because I have no inspiration but I love Chihiro and he deserves everything 
> 
> Also Mukuro because we stan

**[Chihiro Fujisaki created a group chat]**

**[Chihiro Fujisaki renamed the group chat]**

**[The Daddy's Of Highschool]**

**Byakuya Togami:** You're right.

 **Makoto Naegi:** i-

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:** Chihiro the title is inappropriate!

 **Chihiro Fujisaki:** reprimand me more daddy

**[Chihiro Fujisaki has deleted this message]**

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** y'all didn't see shit, i know for a fact he wasn't at his phone when i sent that

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:** Petition to let Chihiro be horny on main without interruption

 **Chihiro Fujisaki:** reasons why Mukuro is a female I'd let top 

**[Chihiro Fujisaki changed all official names]**

**[Computer Dad has added Kokichi Ouma, Kiibo, Shuichi Saihara, and 13 more to The Daddy's Of Highschool]**

**Fake Computer Loli:** kokichi change your name my grandson 

**[Kokichi Ouma changed his name to Shuichi Simp]**

**Shuichi Saihara:** Kokichi no

**[The Only Top has changed 15 official names]**

**Fake Computer Loli:** i didn't even give her the power to do that??? that's kind of hot???

 **The Only Top:** As it should be

 **That One Dumb Bitch:** I want to say this is wrong but it kinda isn't, by the way Mukuro come with me to get more hair dye the red is starting to show

 **Hot Nurse Lady:** Junko...

 **That One Dumb Bitch:** Please

 **Hot Nurse Lady:** There you go Junko!

 **The Only Top:** Of course, anything you want

 **Fake Computer Loli:** Mukuro

 **The Only Top** : Sure, I would love to Junko, I also needed some new shampoo so it benefits me too

 **Fake Computer Loli:** *Pleased Computer Noises*

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** This is nice, no more chaos please

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** Shut up Naegi

 **Weeb Hybrid:** Gomen Tsukki🥺

 **Knife:** No one cares.

 **Weeb Hybrid:** They gon' hate me regardless 😔😔😔😔😔 That's why I do what I do😌😌😌😌😌

**[The Only Top has yeeted Weeb Hybrid out of The Daddy's Of Highschool]**

**Shuichi Simp:** Good no one even likes her

 **Piano Whore:** Lmao top ten anime betrayals🥵

 **Piano Whore:** Sorry Miu took my phone 

**Kokichi's Object Of Thirst:** W h y ?

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** Naegi wants an explanation to our names, when it's obviously that we're fucking and he's poor while I'm rich.

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** WAIT WHAT- HDJEKGUKSKRUEI

 **The Only Top:** Poor Makoto, died from finally realizing that someone liked him after breaking the hearts of three girls and one guy

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** I- people like, liked me?????

 **Fake Computer Loli:** you had the attention of Queen Mukuro and ignored it how dare you

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** MUKURO LIKED ME?!??!

 **The Only Top:** Thanks for realizing it, it's a year late tho, can't believe a 4 year crush for this 😀

 **Celebrity Wannabe:** Almost 6 for me

 **Best Detective:** Haha, 2 years

 **hOpE:** Wait y'all got over yours-

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** WAIT I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO BREAK YOUR HEARTS DJKFKEITJKSKF😭😭😭😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Makotos were hurt in the making on this


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hc that Byakuya and Toko get therapy and sometimes go together since both of them really trigger each other but they're working through it. I also hc that Byakuya considers Celeste, Komaru, and Toko his best friends and him trying to he nice is him saying you're okay and nice and not totally roasting you to the point where everyone else feels it too 
> 
> So basically the Izuru Kamukura Project was shut down after realizing that they had legit created the "perfect being" and Izuru was sent to school after he was tested by interacting with Nagito for a week. After he was deemed safe, as to satisfy Hajime's parents Izuru made an AI intelligence with a human-looking body, with the help of Chihiro and implanted his memories in there and, with Izuru's help turned Hajime back to normal. So they are entirely different people Hajime likes Nagito while Izuru likes Nagito. While Nagito likes them both. Izuru and Hajime are mostly platonic, unless you don't want the to be cause I got all KomaKumaHina ways?
> 
> Izuru is only comfortable with Nagito and Hajime though he only attends his therapy lessons with Nagito and if Nagito can't make it then he dips and tries to shut himself down if he can't dip cause ✨trauma things✨

**Fake Computer Loli:** Google is it straight to have 200 pictures of your best friends thighs

 **Hall Moniter:** Chihiro..?

 **The Only Top:** Don't ask

 **Fake Computer Loli:** Like I'm not straight but, please wrap your thighs around my neck Mukuro-Sama🥵

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** 👁👄👁

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** I have almost 300 pictures of Celeste and Naegi's Sister in maid outfits and thigh high stockings and not to be heterosexual but they look okay

 **I'm Fucking Rich:** I get Celeste but why Komaru-

 **The Normal One:** That's extremely high praise from Byakuya I-

 **Kakegurui:** Thank you Byakuya, I didn't realize you considered us best friends 😊

 **Lesbian:** What about me Byakuya?

 **I'm Fucking Poor:**...

**Lesbian: 🥺**

**I'm Fucking Poor:** Your maid outfit was nice.

 **The Normal One:** Byakuya 💖💖💖💖 Thank you for being nice to my girlfriend!!!! 

**I'm Fucking Poor:** Whatever just remember that we don't need you or Makoto to come to our therapy sessions anymore

**12:36**

**Literally Perfect:** The sheer fucking audacity of the law.

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** I know right.

 **Hall Monitor:** Why are you guys awake?

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** If this was anyone else and not a serious matter I'd say right back at you but why the fuck can you become a serial killer if you murder three people.

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** Like I could do that right now without even getting blood on my hands or anyone finding the bodies. Why is it just three? Legitimately i could kill my boyfriend, his sister, and her girlfriend right now and no one but the people who would never tell on me would know.

 **Hall Monitor:** My existence just doesn't matter anymore does it 😀

 **Literally Perfect:** I've already massacred a bunch of scientists, why the fuck was I not called a serial killer on the news? And before you question it my processor is shut down right now and I don't want to use some of my talents for this shit.

 **Fake Computer Loli:** They said it was self defense and that you and Hajime were clearly different sentient beings and you didn't sign any form to be experimented on and that not only was it an illegal experiment that they didn't put on books but it also was basically torture 👁👄👁

 **Shuichi Simp:** Does that mean I'm a serial killer since I've killed myself so many times in my head?

 **Kokichi Object Of Thirst:** That's not how the law works Kokichi

 **Literally Perfect:** I've shut myself off five times and that's basically killing myself.

 **hOpE:** that's because you override your processor sometimes when you panic, that's usually when you try to escape therapy lessons 

**Boring Guy:** That's because you aren't with him -_-

 **Boring Guy:** Whatever, both of you come to my room to cuddle because you both need sleep.

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** Totally Platonic Cuddling with the robot better version of you and hope guy... s u r e

**8:30**

**Hall Monitor:** If any of you aren't awake I'm going to be going around, knocking on doors and then using the headmaster's key, coming inside your room if it is my knock is not answered, and breaking your ankles. 

**Hall Monitor:** Of course this is only to my insubordinate classmates, but I will be doing rounds today and if I see anyone not in at least two classes I will be taking away your privilege of living.

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** Hah, who said that this was a privilege. Come kill me right now 

**I'm Fucking Rich:** I'm telling your therapist. 

**I'm Fucking Poor:** Fucking Snitch🖕

 **hOpE:** Togami-Kun is so cute when he's tired I-

 **I'm Fucking Poor:** Don't think I won't hesitate to Sangwoo your ass and leave you in the school's basement to rot just because you make good bagels.

**hOpE: 😊**

**Literally Perfect:** I was woken up thinking death would come to someone, I didn't sign up to be harrassed Hajime.

 **Boring Guy:** All I did was tell you that I had to get dressed for school cause it's in less than an hour

 **Literally Perfect:** And all I did was try to have warmth because you guys made me fucking able to get cold 😐

 **Boring Guy:** You made your own body knowing it would seek warmth and I told you to get dressed get up already

**hOpE: 🥰**

**Literally Perfect:** What?

 **Boring Guy:** What?

 **Hall Monitor:** **🤦‍♂️**

 **Fake Computer Loli:** To think we broke our Hall Monitor already 😔✊

 **BiBiBike:** **😔✊**

**Author's Note:**

> I hc that if it was a non despair AU Mukuro and Junko attend Therapy to help each other but sometimes slip into old habits, especially over text


End file.
